Vincent Jackson suffered a tear in his vagina during the first series of the Chargers win over the Colts on Sunday night. Jackson, who has been out for the previous 11 weeks due to holdout, returned to the field for just one series before being sidelined for the evening. It was unclear how the injury occurred, but it seems that cornerback Kelvin Hayden lightly fondled with Jackson’s vaginal area during the second play of the game. Jackson, who has a history of being a pussy, is highly sensitive when his vaginal areas are touched by defensive backs. Head coach Norv Turner refused to put Jackson back in the game, apparently furious over the fact that Jackson’s vagina is no longer his alone.
We do not know at this point how long Jackson will be sidelined for this injury. He is set to visit a gynecologist early on Monday morning to have an examination.
Fantasy analysis: Fantasy owners holding on to Vincent Jackson received a big blow as they paid dearly for believing in the vagina of Vincent Jackson. What’s more, he took a massive shit on those who believed him enough to start him by putting up a big zero before leaving due to his injured vagina. Of course, we all knew that he was a huge pussy, but did we expect this after 11 weeks of holdout? No.
UPDATE: This just in. Jackson has just left the gynecologist office and the word in is that he is pregnant. VINCENT JACKSON IS PREGNANT. Jackson refused to comment on the father of his child, but an anonymous source within the Chargers organization reveals that the father is Chargers owner A.J. Smith. We all know that Smith and Jackson were bitter toward each other due to contractual differences, but did this also have a romantic factor as well? What will Smith do now that he has fathered Jackson’s child? We need to monitor closely throughout the week.
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